used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions. - Online Dictionary
You've said it. I've said. Everyone says it. "I should..."
And, if you're like me, you probably thought about what a failure you are because you didn't do what you should. There's this innate sense of being a bad person because you aren't, or didn't, do what you should.
By now, I should be...
I should lose...
I should pray...
I should study...
But SHOULD never does anything for us. It doesn't show up to help us in the clinches. It doesn't encourage us. It doesn't even inspire us. It just makes us feel like a bad person.
Instead, today I'd like you to consider some of the ways you ARE. I want to encourage you to look at your life from a different perspective. I'd like to help you come from the place of BE instead of DO and SHOULD.
What the Bible Says About Who You Already Are in Christ
- You are new - the old has passed away (Colossians 3:9-10)
- Free from the law of sin and death - alive to the Grace of God. (Romans 8:2)
- You are Holy and without blame before God. (Ephesians 1:4 and 1 Peter 1:16)
- You have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16 & Philippians 2:5)
- You can do all things through Christ. (Philippians 4:13)
- You are a conqueror. No, wait...MORE than a conqueror. (Romans 8:37)
- You aren't a person driven by fear - you have been given a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)
What Difference Does that Make?
Our "shoulds" and "dos" are centered around our power to accomplish what needs to be done.
When we live, hope and dream from the place of who we are BEING in Christ, then we aren't dependent upon OUR ability to make it happen. We are able to release everything into the hands of God to make it happen.
For instance, if you are in business - when you can know that God has given you the power to create wealth, and that He is the source of all your need - you don't have to feel needy or pushy when you talk with potential clients. THEY are not your source. THEY are not the ones who will meet your needs. THEY are not the answer to your challenges. He is.
When you are seeking answers for what to do next - and you know you have been given the mind of Christ, that you are created by God in Christ for good works which He has already ordained, and that you can do all things through Christ - you can walk confidently knowing that the path will open up before you.
As you seek to make a lasting impact in the world - through your life, business or ministry - because you are MORE than a conqueror, you understand that there is power and destiny in all you do.
Escaping from the Land of SHOULD
So, how do you keep yourself motivated to do the things that need to be done, without 'shoulding' on yourself? (Yes, I said that!)
There is a reason you aren't starting, doing or completing what you say you "should" be starting, doing or completing. You are running into an edge of what you believe the activity will bring into your life and what you actually want. Sometimes it is fear. Sometimes it's confusion. Often it is a line between what you truly want and other's expectations.
There is a way to break free. It involves deep honesty. Unfortunately, it is easier to camouflage truth with feelings of insecurity or excuses of lack of skill, education, position or authority. Here are a few questions to start your journey. They are adapted from Michael Neill's "Supercoach".
Start by making a list of the things:
a) you "should" want;
b) that are the next logical step;
c) you continue to want year after year, but never seem to attain;
d) someone else says you should want;
e) that are deep desires;
f) you would ask if you got 3 free wishes;
g) make you smile when you think of them;
h) you were told as a child it is wrong to want;
i) that you want, but say "I can't", "I could never," or "I don't have...";
j) that if they happened you would say "AWESOME!"
Then ask yourself, "If it doesn't matter whether I think I can actually have this, do I really want it?"
If the answer is YES - circle it. If the answer is NO - cross it out. If your answer is unsure, put it to the side for now.
Create a bit of clarity for yourself. Get rid of the "should" in your life. Start to investigate what the Bible says about who you ALREADY are or ALREADY have. Begin the process of living from BEING rather than SHOULDING.
Live Inspired! Live At Your Best!
Here's a little something to make you smmmmmmile.