December 23, 2013, I weighed in at 196 lbs. It's my moment of weight shame, but it doesn't mean I was a bad person. It means that my life was out of control - in a lot of ways. It was time for transformation - and more than just weight loss transformation.
True transformation always begins with a work on the inside, and shows up in all the different areas of our life.
This was me, then.
This is me, now
Transformation always starts on the inside.
You can read my story in bits and pieces all over this blog. Let's just suffice it to say that a few years of professional disappointment, a few years of caring for my critically ill husband, living in hotels and hospitals, and more than one plate of nachos, took their toll.
I didn't just wake up one morning and discover that life was out of control. Oh, no. I KNEW it was out of control, but even the idea of changing things seemed too much to bear.
The thing is, I didn't transform when things were all better, either. Shortly after the picture on the left was taken, I found myself on a care flight with my darling husband battling septic shock, praying his oncology doctor in Dallas could bring him back to health.
3 weeks later, on January 17, 2014 - we were in a truck, moving what belongings we could fit into a 560 sq. ft. apartment, so we could live closer to the doctors. And throughout the better part of that year, Richard was still very ill. We left our home, most of our possessions, and the in-person support of our friends and family hundreds of miles behind.
But on the inside of me, something arose to say, "Enough is enough."
Step 1 - I began to exercise 3 days per week. I pushed back the ottoman of my favorite chair in the living room and did squats, step ups and upper body weight training. It was hard. It was horrible. It was worth it.
Step 2 - I found a food reduction eating plan that worked for me - Venus Factor for Women. Yeah. It actually was simply about cutting down on my calories; not a bunch of crazy expensive food products or systems.
Step 3 - When I failed (which I did - a lot) to meet my personal goals and expectations - I started again.
Step 4 - I kept working at it.
Eventually 10, 15, 30 lbs dropped and by the end of the year, I was in the 150's. I had lost 40 lbs. and even though I hadn't reached my ultimate goal, I was proud of the work I'd done.
But that commitment to transformation effected EVERY area of my life.
I decided it was time to take my years of training and working for others, and turn it into a business.
I relaunched my blog.
I wrote 2 books.
I began to put the Living At My Best community in place.
I put my years of on the job training as a business leader and coach to use and became a Certified Coach.
And, I prepared to make yet another move: from the small town of Ennis, Texas to the metroplex of Fort Worth. At least this time we were moving into a larger space. 🙂
When My Mind Changed - Everything Changed
It is easy to find yourself in a victim mindset - even when you don't feel like a victim.
A Victim mindset is prison. You determine that you have little to no power over your circumstances, so there isn't any need to try to do or be something different. A Victim mindset takes no responsibility for the condition or consequences. A Victim mindset makes you feel like nothing that happens is your fault - so you don't put your best efforts toward changing your environment. You settle. And in the settling - you slowly die.
Now, I am the first to say that life happens. But it really comes down to how we handle the 'happening'. Piece by piece, and little by little, I had let the things AROUND me, define me; rather than remembering that it is who and WHOSE I am that TRULY defines me. It's who I am on the INSIDE that determines my OUTSIDE. Those tiny shifts into Victim eroded my confidence. As my confidence disappeared, my Victory Shout disappeared. Until, I looked in the mirror - literally and emotionally, and did not recognize the woman I had become.
The first and most important shift is to move from Victim Camp to Victor Camp.
You see, a Victor is a winner, even when the battle doesn't go just like they planned.
A Victor is always looking for how to turn the odds in their favor the next time. She learns that Strategy X didn't work this time, so let's tweak it a little and try Strategy Y. And, well if that doesn't work, we'll go on to Z.
A Victor is a prisoner - but she is a prisoner of Hope. She knows that all it takes is one moment of favor and everything will turn around. All it takes is just one person to notice, and their credibility will soar - and so will their profits.
A Victor chooses to believe that things can and WILL change - for the better.
As you prepare for the next season of your life, I wonder, are you a Victim or a Victor?
How you choose to define yourself will make all of the difference in the days and weeks ahead.
It is your choice. It is your right to define yourself by your outward circumstances or by the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
For me, there came a day when I decided to believe the words of God to Jeremiah in Jeremiah 29:11:
For I know what I have planned for you,' says the LORD. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. NET Bible
I had a lot of help along the way, not the least has been the voice of my husband saying, "You can do it. I believe in you."
And, I realize not everyone has that kind of support. I know far too many women who do not have husbands that support them, believe in them, stand in their corner. Yet, when it comes down to it - there is only one person who must believe in you. You.
Choose to be the woman the Lord created you to be. Above - not beneath. Blessed - not cursed. Moving forward - not falling behind. The victor - not the victim.
Live Inspired! Live At Your Best!
Get More Secrets to UPLevel Your Confidence.