There is power in keeping your promises to yourself. So often, we calculate the integrity of a person by the way they keep promises. Arriving on time, completing the project as promised, or stopping a behavior.
"Is this person trustworthy?" This is often the unspoken, almost imperceptible, question we ask ourselves when creating community and collaboration with someone new to our realm of influence and practice.
As a coach for women moving out of life-altering situations, I must be found faithful in my commitments to the women I serve. My responsibility is to lay a path forward. "See, this is how you do this. I've done it. You can, too." It's unspoken but there. And no matter the business or service you provide, your clients and customers wonder if you are trustworthy.
What You Mind, Matters
Yet, do we ask how faithful we are at keeping the promises we've made to ourself? I'm thinking about this a lot as I work with women on their journey to wholeness. I think about it daily in my own journey.
Funny thing about the heart and mind... if you make vows or promises to yourself, and then rarely fulfill them, they interpret those vows as noise and file them away as nonessential information. Follow through is an imperative for creating mental and spiritual trust. The words we speak and their corresponding actions create pathways of trust. And whether we are making those promises to others or ourself, the results are the same.
The more we keep our word, the more likely we are to keep it the next time, and the time after that. The less? Well, I bet you've experienced waiting for someone who shows up 30 minutes late or never. Trust is broken. The more it happens the less likely you are to depend on them and their word to you. Or you and your word to yourself.
A disciplined practice creates strength and agreement. Jesus said it this way in Matthew 5:27: "When you make a promise, say only “Yes” or “No.” Anything else comes from the devil." CEV
Strong speech!
Gamification Might Be the Cure
In the five years of navigating grief and (yet another) reinvention, I've found a bounty of wholeness. Yet one area has eluded me. My physical health. Thankfully, I'm not ill - but I've battled weight gain. A lot of women "my age" do simply because of hormones, etc. etc. ad nauseam. However, I know my struggle is a direct correlation of hand-to-mouth and rear-in-seat syndrome. I was eating too much and moving too little. At the beginning of the year, I knew it was time for some discipline and promise keeping.
So, I've created a game for myself. Maybe it will work for you.
Not necessarily habit stacking - but habit layering.
✔️Habit #1: I began by following Gin Stephens process of Fast-Feast-Repeat and the 28-Day Start.
✔️Habit #2: I returned to a low-carb eating plan. I know it works for me in a lot of ways.
✔️Habit #3: I returned to walking. My current plan is 4 days a week at 2 miles a day. I'm working my way to walking a 5K so I can increase strength, to run it. Then, I'll move on to other milestones.
I've done all these from time to time, but never kept my promises. And laid them to the side.
This morning, I had an opportunity to do that again.
Whose Voice Will You Listen To?
The voice in my head said, "You don't have to walk today. You said four days a week. You can walk tomorrow." And the pillow and sheets agreed.
But deep in my heart and mind, the voice came which said, "Donna, keep your promises to yourself." So at 4:50am I crawled out of bed, got dressed, and headed to the track with my dog pal Mercy. And while I was there, 4 other people showed up to keep their promises, too. Because of small promises kept over time, I've shed 4 lbs. and 6.5" in 2 months. Some might think that's nothing. To me, it's evidence.
You see, while our clients and customers know when we don't keep our promises to them, rarely does anyone know when we haven't kept the ones we make to ourselves.
Yet, when we have a practice of ignoring the promises, we know. And it devastates our confidence and hope. We play smaller and smaller in life until we barely show up. So not only do you suffer, your friends and family, your co-workers and clients suffer, too.
Not all promises are created equal. And some of the ones we make need to be ignored. But if you've made promises for growth and increase and greater wholeness, today is the day to start again.
Today is your day.