What are Righteous Relationships?
Relationships are the trickiest part of walking as a believer. At least, in my little opinion.
Because, let's be real, people are messy. I'm messy. You're messy. And we all feel like the hero of our own story.
So everything in life is from a single-lens point of view... yours... mine.
And when we are developing Christlikeness in our relationships, Jesus calls us to live beyond myopia. In fact, He tells us to lay our life down for the people we love. Including our neighbors. Oh. And that probably then means the whole world.
So how do we do that?
The Bible and Relationships
On the one hand, Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourself. That "do unto others as we would have done to us" verse comes into play here. And, we're supposed to prefer and give honor to our brothers and sisters - above ourselves.
But He also says if we love anyone more than we love Him, we are missing the entire point of the Kingdom.
I'm captivated by Luke 17:19. Jesus says, in His prayer as High Priest over all, "And for THEIR SAKES, I sanctify Myself, that they may also be sanctified in the truth." Here, then, is the core of why we pursue truth and life, and wholeness and restoration - for the sake of those we are called to do life with.
For the Sake of the Lost
I'm privileged to be a member of a church where my eldest son is the Pastor.
As I'm writing this, we are just a few short days from Christmas. So yesterday, he preached about Love using 1 Corinthians 13, Galatians 5, and Romans 12. And of course John 3:16.
When we don't love well, it tells a story to those around us. The lost of this world are looking for a reason to deny Jesus. Sadly, we Christians often give them lots of reasons to do so. We are snarky, and judgemental. Our noses are long and our eyes are glaring. We criticize each other and everyone not like us. Sad. Shameful. Unfortunately true.
Galatians 5:15 says this: "But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another." I call this Christian cannibalism.
And all of this goes on in front of a world of people looking for true love. *sigh*
Again, Jesus' words in Luke 17 ring out "for their sakes"...
Building Better. Building Stronger.
Now that we've addressed the core of our responsibility in relationships, let's talk about how we can change ourselves.
Centered on Christ:
Our primary priority is to dig deep into the word of God to understand what He requires of us! Not everyone else. We are each responsible for our own behaviors. Sure, others may act the fool. But I'm not here to tell them what to do. I'm here to train myself in righteousness. My goal is to look like Jesus, not the lady next door.
The Company We Keep
Here's where it gets a little dicey. Because we don't want to turn our nose up at people, but not everyone is the right person to hang out with.
You've heard it, right? Your life reflects the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Which begs the question, "if your life isn't like you want, do you need new companions for the journey?"
Clustering = Social Contagion = Your Life
Researchers have found that behaviors, attitudes, and health outcomes tend to form in social clusters. In fact, who you have around you even affects your sleep, food you eat, and how much money to spend (or save). Understandably, this can be a fabulously good thing, or create deficits.
"Bad companions corrupt good character." (1 Corinthians 15:33) along with your health, finances, mental and emotional health, and your desire for transformation.
Additional research has discovered this is relevant up to three degrees of separation. So, it isn't just your friends and family, it's their friends and family, and their friends and family!
Now, again, this doesn't mean you kick your friends and family to the curb, because they aren't on the track you want to take. However, it does mean it is important to curate (for lack of a better term) the people you allow to have influence in your life. As a result, if you want a specific outcome in your life, it's important to seek relationships with people who have those attributes you are seeking.
Oh, You Nasty Conviction
Something I've noticed in myself is this. When I recognize I need to make a change, I actually AVOID the people who are where I want to be. Do you ever do that?
You know, instead of hanging out with the friend who has the priority of going to the gym, you hang out with the one who likes to go to the bakery? Is that only me?
It's that place of resistance I've talked about before. It's the clue we need to pay attention.
Relationships Matter
Finally, whether we want to build relationships with people for the sake of the Gospel, or for the sake of our well-being, we need to be intentional.
And while we aren't the center of the universe, we want to pay attention to how we are engaging with others. As I was prepping for this article, I found some interesting quotes on friendship. So as a finale' here are a few from YourTango.com
