The Comparison Trap
Comparison fuels the modern socio-economic structure of our world.
Without its barbed talons, we'd never want what our neighbors have.
It subtly influences each decision we make and creates disappointment, chaos, and pain as we compare our life to someone else's.
How Comparison Shows Up
Think of the last time you were on Amazon deciding which salt to purchase. Likely you've heard of the benefits of sea salt vs table salt vs Celtic salt. And there you are, trying to decide if you should purchase Redmond's Real Salt (promoted by almost all low-carb/keto devotees) Baja Gold Mineral Sea Salt (promoted by Gary Brecka), or my favorite standby, Sherpa Pink Himalayan Salt.
Depending on which influencer you follow, you'll make one of these choices. And that's because they will have shown you the benefits by comparing them to the lowly Morton's blue box. Which in its day transformed the health of the world, too!
Salt seems a tiny thing. But when you calculate how many decisions you've made because someone you know and/or admire has shown you which brand of clothing, or food group (keto/whole food-plant based/carnivore/Mediterranean/Paleo/Whole30, etc. etc. etc.), neighborhood to live in, car to drive, or og to own is best - somewhere along the line, you compared yourself to someone else and made a choice.
And there's nothing inherently wrong with that unless it derails your life.
1Talent or 5?
Matthew 25:14-30 often is used as a cautionary tale of what happens if you aren't faithful. And yes, it does teach that. But here's what happens. We read the story and think the master was mad at the servant who didn't give a return on his money because he didn't do as well as the others. And that's not the point at all (at least not for today's conversation.)
[Let's also remember here that the "talent" was a measure of weight used to calculate the value of silver or gold. It's estimated the talent mentioned in this story was equivalent to $1,000 to $30,000 in today's market. We aren't talking about his ability to sing or dance!]
Note verses 14 and 15:
“For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away.
The one talent guy had the capacity and ability to generate one more. Not five.
But in our mindset, we often perceive the problem was in the overall quantity, not in the individual capacity and ability, or calling. The one talent servant was called only to one talent increase.
But in our context today, when we compare our value to someone else's, we often use a scale which gives the other person/people a higher value than ourself. Comparison at its finest.
The Rule of Supply
Philippians 4:19 shifted a complete mindset in me when I studied it a few years ago. Here it is in the New King James version:
And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Simple enough, right? But here's what it means in the original language...
And my God shall fill (to make full, to complete, to fulfill) to the individual capacity all your need (necessity/lack/requirement/business) according to the riches (riches/wealth/abundance) of HIS GLORY in Christ Jesus.
You and I each have a capacity in this season of life. Maybe it's more than you once had. Maybe it's less. Here's the thing - there's no judgement from the Lord there. And there needn't be any judgement within yourself.
Lovely One, it's not about YOU or ME filling that capacity. It's about the LORD providing what is needed for us to do what He has called us to.
Here's how it reads in the original Greek...
And [the] God of me will fill up all [the] needs of you according to the riches of Him in glory in Christ Jesus.
The rule of God's supply eradicates the lie of human comparison. The Apostle Paul says it this way:
"Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding." 2 Corinthians 10:12
and
"But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor." Galatians 6:4
Capacity and Comparison
As I studied Philippians 4:19, this was my prayer: "Lord, increase my capacity to receive, so that I can have more capacity to give." And I wasn't just praying about finances. And I wasn't asking for the Lord to make me "as good as" or "better than" any other person. It was MY capacity I was addressing.
It was for more compassion, more grace, more wisdom, more humility. More of Him.
In my one talent areas I want to give a full one talent return. And not become embarrassed in the face of others by my one-talent ability. But I also want to expand my capacity and so become a two, five, ten talent girl where it is possible.
Because my comparison has to be with the Lord Himself. Not that I expect to be "filled with all the fullness of God" as Jesus was, but His promise is that I am filled with the same Holy Spirit who helped Him walk obediently before the Father.
And finally, here's what I come to in this: be completely who you are in Him. Let Him lead you and guide you on the path He has for YOU. Don't compare your life with someone else's or attempt to live out another's call. Bring yourself to the King and let Him determine which skills, abilities, and gifts He wants to release through you into this world.
In some areas, you have incredible capacity. So let Him fill you there. Press in. Do the work. Prayer the prayers. Receive full capacity and release full capacity.
And in the areas where you feel small, ask Him if it is His will to increase you there. And if it is, He will do the work.
He supplies. You respond.
